I don’t know what possessed me to buy these butt ugly, worthless, useless beads. It must have been some Demon of Bad Judgment who possessed me, or perhaps I had a moment of insanity, or maybe I had more money that day than I knew what to do with (yah, right…as if that ever happens…but sometimes I do act that way…).
I have had this jar of UGLY beads for YEARS. They used to be in a box. But somehow, whatever box I put them into, the box would eventually get holes, and these beads would escape. Forget plastic bags, they wouldn’t last a day. I have had them in a glass jar for years. Tightly closed, so they won’t get out. I think I am afraid that they will escape. I have feelings that they will create mayhem with all of my “prettier” beads. Or with me.
So what the hell was I thinking when I bought these MONSTROSITIES? Whenever I look at them, I think I am part of some Steven King horror story. I almost FEAR them! I am afraid to do anything with them, even in my wildest creative moments. I afraid to bury them in the back yard, in a very deep hole. I can't even put them into the dumpster for fear some horrible karma will befall me. If I gave them to a thrift shop, I fear that some other poor unsuspecting soul will be possessed by them. I think that they will seek revenge and wield shards of their broken comrades and drive them under my finger nails. That’s what I fear. That they will have their ugly revenge on me. Ugly beads, ugly revenge.
Most of you know, I am a seed beader. I love the little tiny beads. I will use larger beads as accents in my pieces, but rarely if ever, is anything bigger than a size 10 bead the main component of my piece. These beads are HUGE. With huge holes to go with it. I could never use these beads in fringe or a strap. I wouldn’t even think of using them as a single focal point.
I don’t think there is a single one of them that I would remotely classify as “pretty". Some have multi colored spots that remind me of some nasty acid trip…not that I have ever experienced anything like that. Really, I haven’t, ahh…it’s what I IMAGINE it would be like. It’s enough to give me a relapse…that is if I had ever taken acid in my younger years. Which I haven’t….
See, even talking about them, I feel like I am possessed enough to tell you stuff about myself that isn’t remotely true. They must have some bad ju-ju in them.
These beads are poorly made. Some are Siamese style. There appears to be a point where they would have separated to become two beads, but never did quite make it. The holes are jagged and sharp, and these beads break easily. I had more of them. Twice as many as you see in the photo of the jar. But some of the escapees from the boxes that they were once in, split in half and others in shards that could inflict serious injury. I think the remaining beads are angry about this. I think they even look angry.
I don’t know what to do with these beads. I really don’t think I will ever use them, but still, I can’t bring myself to throw them out. It just seems wrong. I might be cursed with bad beads for the rest of my life if I do.
Maybe I should feel sorry for these beads. They can’t help being ugly. Perhaps they are just needing of some encouragement. Maybe they need a self-help book to bring out their hidden beauty and undiscovered value.
Maybe if I believe in them, they will suddenly transform. Like the ugly duckling, or the Frog Prince.
With that in mind…who would like this valuable jar of extraordinarily beautiful, rare beads for $3000, plus Shipping?? Potential possession is at no extra cost. Any fools…er….connoisseurs out there? Price is negotiable.