Fairies and Ghouls

Bead fairies (AKA bead angles) are often the life line of a designer. They are eager, willing, and a good bead fairy is worth her weight in gold.

But bead fairies can be bead ghouls in disguise.

For me, the first time I used bead fairies was with Masterpieces for Beadwork. Oh how I agonized over it. I so much preferred doing my own work, catching my own mistakes! How could I rely on someone else to my decisions as to whether or not the pattern was right? I had no worries if the ladies I chose were competent, talented beaders, their work showed that talent without a doubt. But to make decisions on my behalf such as a color not working, was a big leap. How could I expect them to know what I intended?

So with a big deep breath and a major leap of faith, I farmed out some of the patterns in this book for them to do. And what a job they did!! I was so THRILLED!!! I could not have done better myself! They did a job much better than I hoped for!

A few years later, I once again made this huge leap of faith. This time the job was HUGE! It was for the first of my Tapestry series Knights in Shining Armor. I chose 4 ladies to help. They would make both the tapestry and the accompanying piece. In exchange, I paid them cash, a bunch of books that they could sell or give away, and some extra gifts for their help. The project took 3-4 months to do. And once again, these ladies blew me away with their talent. They caught mistakes, and their own personal touches added so much to the pieces.

I set out to do more tapestries, several of my fairies jumped at the chance to do more, and some saw me through all 5 of my tapestry series. They enjoyed the task, and seemed to be happy with my “payment”. I am forever grateful for the help and talent they offered me.

But not all goes well with bead fairies. Sometimes, there are bead ghouls. Luckily for me, I have had only one such experience. But I have heard of many others.

Bead Ghouls often just do not uphold their side of the “deal”. They have their pattern, they agreed to the project, and the project is never done. Life does happen, and things do get in the way, and change the best of intentions. If the would be fairy would be honest, we could understand, and make adjustments. But when she makes no attempt at letting the designer know that she can no longer meet her obligation, then it can be a huge problem for a designer who has to meet a deadline.

In my case, I doubt my ghoul ever began the project. She got upset that I never sent her gifts or cards in the mail to thank her for beading for me (every week, before the project was even finished). Never mind the fact that I probably paid more for beading this project than any designer ever offered her fairies (once the project was finished). She sent me several emails stating that I was terrible to work for because I didn’t send her weekly emails thanking her, or some other communication (I am a hands-off kind of “manager” and do no like micromanaging).

I asked to see her progress (send me a jpg of how its coming along). None was forthcoming. Long story short, I “fired” her.

There are many different arrangements that designers have with their fairies. Some just ask for the fairy to do the project and all the fairy gets is a free pattern. Some provide the beads for the fairies to work with, and some provide a copy of the publication that the project is in.

I have always felt that since the fairy has helped me to create something that I would profit from, she too should be “paid” for her efforts. The payment varies with the size of the project, and can take various forms, not necessarily in dollars. But a good fairy is indispensable, and hopefully is a treat, and not a trick!!

Happy Halloween!!

PS. To all the ladies who were my fairies, I am STILL in awe of the work you did for me, I am STILL so grateful for all the hard work you did. You are the best there is!!

You Say "Pie-ote", I say "Pay-ote

How important is a name or a title? How important is it what we name a stitch for instance? There are some people who do say Pie-ote (for peyote), which sounds really funny to me, since I say Pay-ote. But I know what they are talking about. The pronunciation is perhaps just a regional difference like tom-A-to vs

tom-AH- to.

What about different names for the same stitch? I have seen Brick stitch referred to as Cheyenne Stitch, and Apache stitch. Why some stitches have different names, I don’t know. Perhaps someone along the way wanted to make it sound like they discovered something new, or just didn’t like the original name.

A stitch name that really kind of bugs me is “two-drop-peyote” (also known as gourd stitch, although “regular” peyote has also been called this). To most people, this means two beads per stitch while stitching peyote (as “three-drop will be 3 beads per stitch). I once took a class on making a ceremonial beaded feather fans from a Native American. “Two-Drop-Peyote” was used for creating this project. The “Two-Drop-Peyote” had nothing to do with using two beads per stitch. It was a form of peyote usually used almost exclusively for ceremonial items. At the end of a row, you would drop down to the next row by going thru 2 beads instead of one (hence the two-drop). It is a different form of peyote with its own way of starting out and its unique characteristics. Yet few people do it, let alone know about it. For directions on this stitch, see Whispering Wind’s Crafts: American Indian Past and Present ©1990

I used to protest the common usage of the name “Two-Drop-Peyote” by saying “NO that is NOT “Two-Drop-Peyote”, but a DOUBLE bead peyote. No one understood what I was talking about. So I gave up. As long as everyone knows what is being talked about, I guess it really doesn’t matter, right? Or does it?

What do you think about names of patterns, or pieces? Names do matter more than you think. Names do evoke a certain personality or mood. If a pattern is called “Earthtone Brick Stitch Necklace”, or called Moroccan Moonlit Desert, which sounds more appealing? Does one name create a mood, or how about inspiration as to how you might approach creating something with the pattern? Perhaps “Moroccan Moonlit Desert” will inspire you to use charms and beads with a Arabian feel. How would “Earth Tone Brick Stitch Necklace” inspire you?

When I create my kits, I will agonize about what to call the darn things. I have a tree frog kit I call “Peepers”. I could have just called it “Tree Frog”. I could have called “Rusty the Reindeer” just “Reindeer”. I thought by naming them as I did, would lend to their “personality”. If I had named one of my pieces “Mermaid in Sardine Can” it would have not been fitting of the mood of the piece. So I named it “Something’s Fishy”. Or if I named my earrings simply “Owls” it would not have the same effect as “Nice Pair of Hooters”.

While I might not always come up with clever names for my pieces or designs, for the most part I do try to put some thought into the names. I hope that the names lend it the extra “personality” that makes it just a tad more appealing to my customers.

Even celebrities find names important. Never mind the weird names some of them give their kids. Many change their real names for screen names. Could you imagine a Jennifer Anastassakis instead of Jennifer Aniston? Just consider how many celebrities you only need to say the first name, and everyone knows

who you are talking about. There is Cher, Madonna, Seal, and Oprah. Hey!!! Don’t I fit in with this group? When someone says “Sig” in our bead world, whom else but me would they be talking about? Wouldn’t you know it’s me? They say, if you are known by first name only, you have “arrived”. Trouble is, I am not sure where it is that I have arrived!

STOP!!!! THIEF!!!!!

Those of us selling beadwork (or any crafts for that matter) have a lot to deal with. Convincing people that our work is worth the price we ask, convincing even our fellow artists to ask for a price reflective of the artistry they have, is yet another hurdle. Selling beadwork is not an easy thing to do, even when everyone is honest and tries to play fair.

When scams and outright dishonesty become our battlegrounds, it is just insult on injury. Theft of a pair of earrings at a show means much more than loss of the item. It is an insult, a smack in the face by the flaming asshole who wanted the earrings so badly, she thought she was entitled to them, at the expense of your hard work. She might as well have left a note saying, ‘You are not worth the beads you create with.”

Perhaps a theft like that is an impulsive action. She saw them, she liked them and walked off with them. There was no deception involve, no premeditated course of action (unless she went to the craft fair with the idea of “I am going to steal something today”.)

The scammers (I refuse to call them scam “artists” which would be an insult to artists everywhere) are the ones that really get me. They set out with intent to steal, and it is premeditated. They look for a weak link. They look for someone who is not very savvy, and they begin their game.

I am sure many of you know about the reputation of those scammers from Nigeria. They are quite famous and have been at their game for years. If you ever encounter one of these idiots, run! Don’t give them the time of day.

Many years ago, before I became street smart in this area, I had an experience with someone from Nigeria. They emailed me wanting to buy $2500 worth of beadwork. I was so excited, but even so, red flags went up. I was wary.

The Nigerian sent me a credit card number, and an address in Nigeria to mail the beadwork to along with a phone number to call. Sounded good so far. But still, something did not seem right. Luckily, I had the sense to call my merchant credit card account before I ran the credit card through my machine. They referred me to the issuing bank of the credit card.

No big surprise. The credit card belonged to someone in Phoenix, not Nigeria. It was a stolen number. Out of curiosity, I asked two questions. 1. If I ran the card, would the amount have been “approved”. Answer: “yes it would have (it was not yet reported stolen or lost)”.

Question #2: In view of the fact that the transaction would have been approved, and the money would have been deposited into my account, and later it would have been discovered that the transaction was not done by the card owner, what would happen?

Answer: “The money would have to be returned.”

So I would have been out of the cash and the beadwork.

Scammers all have different games. Some are much more slick than others. I had another one contact me just yesterday through my Etsy account. Red flags went up again. And in “knowing” that this person was not legit, I played with her a tad.

Here is the word for word conversation (Just copied and pasted from my email) No changes in spelling or anything else was made. Maybe this person is from Nigeria as well. It is evident that English is not her first language (not that nationality makes a difference).

by hellooo44

My name is Miss Mary gerreto and is like am highly intrested in immediate purchase of ur item and i will also like to know if you will accept cashier check for the payment and i will also like to tell you that i have my own shipping company who takes good care of my goods so don`t bother your self about the shipping arrangement so if you are ok with all this kindly get back to me via my email

Mary gerreto

by beadedbear

Thank you for your interest.

I do not take any checks at this time because I am aware that there has been a number of scams concerning checks and those who say there own shipping companies.

I will only accept paypal at this time. You do not need to have an account. You can use a check with paypal.

Sig

[NOTE: Don’t you think she would have thought I was on to her “game”, and would have gone off? No…she continues…dumber than I thought!]

by hellooo44

well am sorry i can only pay you via cashier cheque

by beadedbear

You can send the cashiers check, but I wlll not mail any item until the bank has said it is good. That can take 3 weeks.

I know of 3 artistis who have had problems with fake cashier's checks. If you are honest, you will understand this

Sig

[Note: She continues….doesn’t she know I am PLAYING with her??]

by hellooo44

yeaa i do understand you but the cheque am sending to you is cashable

by beadedbear

Then, thats fine, but in any case, I will not send the item until THE BANK tells me all is good.

If you dont agree to this, then I will not do business with you. As I said, I have heard from my group of several scams. I wont fall into it.

Oh crappers….no more emails…she had been removed from Etsy at this point. Just when I was starting to have fun!

Other people have had similar experiences with this type of scam. Apparently, what they want to do, is send “their shipping company” to your place to pick up the goods. In some cases they want you to pay the shipping company for the overnight delivery, which “will be reimbursed”. The cashiers check turns out to be a rubber ball. A forged, or check drawn on a bogus bank or account. The seller is out of the money and the product. The scammer has the money for the delivery and the stolen goods.

As soon as I got the first email from this person, I reported them to Etsy. I just had “fun” dangling the carrot back in the scammer’s face to see how far they would go. It entertained me for a bit, and I gathered enough information for Etsy to take action. Etsy has cancelled this person’s account. But what is to keep this person from opening a new account under a different name? Assholes like this with such a premeditated bent on stealing from us deserve to be hung upside down in a desert and have their eyeballs pecked out by the ravens, and be nibbled at by fire ants. I have no good thoughts of people like this at all.

For all of us who try to earn a few dollars selling beadwork, we have enough to deal with, when people are basically honest. Be careful when you meet dishonest people. If something doesn’t sound or feel right, trust your instincts. Don’t be so eager to make a sale that you set yourself up for theft or outright fraud. You deserve much better than that!

If you’d like to read more on this follow this link:

http://www.etsy.com/storque/how-to/being-safe-on-etsy-spotting-and-avoiding-advance-fee-fraud-3795/

Tipsy Tuesday, 10/27/09

I thank Joyce for this week's question!

"What kind of thread do you like to use?"

My response:

The thread you use is really one of personal preference. I have used Nymo for years with no problem. Although I use it off of a big cone and not the little bobbins. I read somewhere that the quality between the two does differ, the cone being stronger and better. I don’t know if this is true or just one of those urban myths. What I do notice though, is the cone thread is less likely to kink and knot than the bobbin thread. You really need to stretch out the bobbin thread to get all those curly ques out. I like Nymo for its different weights. I have a cone of size “00” which is really fine. I use it when I bead with size 18 or even smaller beads.

I have also worked with Silimaide. I like it for its strength, but I hate trying to thread a needle with it.

I have to say, that my absolute favorite thread is SoNo thread. It is a Japanese beading thread. It may be a bit harder to come by. There is a (popular BIG ) supplier that sells it for about $12 per spool (OUTRAGEOUS PRICE), you can get it for about $4.30 from

http://moondancedesigns.com (tell them I sent you!).

Many people like Fireline, or Power Pro. These are strong threads. I have not used them much, because I love SoNo for much of the work I do. If I beaded more with crystals, I think I would switch over to one of those two threads for the strength.

I also prefer to use white thread most times. I only use black when the beads I use are mostly black. I don’t like how the darker threads darken the beads that are transparent or semi transparent. I usually want the beads to remain true to the color that I chose them for. If I need to, I will use a felt tipped pen (permanent marker) in the appropriate color to color the outside thread edges of the beadwork where they show.

Norm The Gnome in the Know's Response:

I use spider web threads (also known as gossamer or spider silk). They are very strong, did you know that spider silk is superior to high quality steel in tensile strength? It doesn’t cost much either, you just have to go and harvest it. There are a lot of spider webs in the garden. The problem is getting it away from the spider. It tends to be a bit sticky and you have to be careful not to be caught in it and become the spider’s meal I lost my cousin Lothar that way.

My Asian friends like to use silk, it is much less hazardous to get, but silk threads are a lot of work to process and who wants to feed worms all day?

Barney the Brainy Bruin's response:

Thread? Hmmm….I guess that would have to be fishing line. Besides berries and honey, I love fish. I have been teaching my nephew Billy, to fish. It is a great activity. We will fish for all kinds of fish, but salmon is our favorite.

Isn’t that what they make Power Pro for? Not for you silly jewelry makers! No wonder we fisher-bears have a hard time finding it. You silly people buy it all and leave none for us. Go make your own materials and leave the fishing stuff for us bears (and sportsmen…but mostly for us bears!).

Bead and Feed Session, Anyone?

Ok, I am serious, if any of you are!

I am open any Saturday in December, for a bead and feed session at my home in Modesto CA.

I can accommodate about 10 people. I will provide lunch. We can just sit and bead, or if you like I can teach a class....

If you are interested contact me at beadedbear@earthlink.net.

PS....since Dec is crazy with holiday stuff going on, any Sat in in January would also work, and might even be a better option?

The Visit

Since my show last weekend, I have been trying to clean up the royal mess I created. The 7-14 days before a show, I drag out boxes of beads and they are scattered all over my “Studio”, living room, even the kitchen. I devote my time mass-producing beaded earrings (as much as that is possible) for the upcoming show. My efforts are in creating inventory, not housekeeping.

Typically the week after a show, I put things away. This last week was somewhat typical of my post show habit, except that I was driven to “tidy up” a bit more than usual. I was going to have company on Saturday morning. So I spent much of my free time fretting about cobwebs, dust bunnies, and general “Stuff” that needed to be put away. Even Steve helped me spruce things up. He was a great help!

Six ladies from the Marin County Embroiderer’s Guild were coming to my town to shop at a local Embroidery shop today. One of the members emailed me last week to ask if they could visit my “Studio” since they would be in town.

Gee, when ANYONE who wishes to visit and is into beads, or embroidery, I am thrilled! I am such a hermit, it is so nice to have a visit by similarly minded people. Embroiderers are just as passionate about embroidery as beaders are about beads. I guess I would even go so far as to say, perhaps even a bit more. After all, embroidery has been recognized as a “sophisticated art form” much longer than beadwork. We are still in the steep uphill curve as far as that is concerned.

What I love about embroiderers is that they also have a keen interest in beadwork. Whether it is to embellish embroidery or as a stand alone art form, it is all good to them. Through my wonderful friend Gauri, I have been introduced to many fine ladies of various embroidery guilds, and as a result, I am hoping to start teaching thru several guilds.

When someone comes to my house for a beading session, or as these ladies did, to go through my beadwork and kits, it seems my German upbringing on treating guests is deeply engrained in my psyche. Treat guests as if they are royalty, and FEED them. If you wish to insult me, come over, and don’t eat anything. That will do it.

I did tell you my “other” hobby is cooking (and subsequently eating), right? Well, no store bought crap for these ladies!! Since I expected them mid morning, I decided to fix tea. No not JUST the beverage, but old-fashioned tea with the trimmings.

Menu

• Cucumber Sandwiches (of course!!) on white bread with the crusts cut off (is there any other way?), cream cheese and basil leaf

• Pear and arugula with melted Gargonzola on Pumpernickle
• 
  
• Raisin Scones with Apple Butter (yes, both homemade)

• Donuts with pomegranate glaze (homemade again!) (risky as I never tried this recipe).

• English Breakfast and Mint Tea (plus I have about 40 other varieties if they wished for a different flavor)

It all went well, I think. The ladies were impressed with my work, and their snack. They want me come to teach!! We’ll be working out the details.

But I have so much left over!! Anyone want to come over and help eat what’s left?

Special Offer for My Blog Readers!

For all of you who love Norm and Barney, here is a special offer for a pattern for earrings featuring these two crazy dudes!

I am offering this pair for $6.00 on bead-patterns.com, but my faithful readers can get them here for a mere $3.00 (via email).

If you would like this pattern, send $3 to me by going to www.paypal.com and "Send Money" to me at beadedbear@earthlink.net.

Make sure you put "Norm and Barney Offer" in the subject so I know what to send you!

And don't forget....if you haven't taken advantage of my sale offer or want to order more (See the post "What Have I Done?") you have about a week left!!

Blogging

Some of you might wonder why I write this blog. Some of you might wish I would stop (so don’t read my damned blog, ok?) Most who do visit, seemingly enjoy what I write. Others, only visit to get the free pattern (I find you irritating….at least read what I write from time to time! Don’t think I don’t know, the stat meters tell me a lot!!)

Some of you write your own blogs, and you have your reasons for writing them that are many and varied. There are many blogs that serve as a personal showcase of beadwork for the writer. It is their own personal bragging page. Some bloggers write because everyone else does. Others might use their blog as a springboard to their own website to advertise their products

All of these reasons are great reasons to write a blog. Everyone who writes one, I am sure enjoys what they do. While I am fairly new to blogging, (unless you want to count The Cracked Bead on www.beadedbear.com as kind of a blog), I am not new to writing, but who cares about THAT history!!??

While the reasons that people create blogs might be an interesting study on ego, and the human psyche that would cause someone to share personal happenings to the farthest reaches of the internet, it is not what intrigues me.

What I want to know, is why do you read a blog? What is it that brings you to my blog, or to your favorite blogs? What grabs your attention? Is it pretty pictures? Do you then just look at the photos and not read the text? Are you one of many that cause a spike in my “readership” on Mondays and Tuesdays, and only visit to download the Mystery Pattern? Do you read my writing because you are only “nosey”? Or do you read because you truly get some form of enjoyment of the “Nonsense” I write?

I ask only because I am wondering which direction to take. Should I become more “Artsy” and “Serious”, discussing the finer points of peyote done under the full moon versus brick stitch done under the new moon? Should I only talk about the serious business aspects of selling, and how to make a living beading, designing, and writing and the woes of taxation on a cottage industry?

Perhaps the current phase of the moon, or the glass of wine (more likely) I had at dinner is making me be a tad more introspective than usual. My reasons for writing a blog (which started with The Cracked Bead) was to be honest about various aspects of being in the bead business, sometimes brutally so, even at times self deprecating if it gets a point across. At the risk of sounding egotistical, I have plenty of experiences. It comes with 25 years of being a beader and being very serious about my work. Don't you think there is a lot that can be learned, even from an old curmudgeon like me?

But in being serious, there is lots of room for humor. It is my favorite method of telling any story, because I think humor gets the point across much better than thumping one’s grey matter with a didactic treatise.

I ask you, my dear readers, what brings you here, what can I do to improve on what I do to make this more fun, and more interesting, and perhaps even more valuable to you?

Then again….maybe I should just “carry on” and not worry about who, if any one really pays attention to what I write. Blogging, like my beadwork must first and foremost satisfy me. If I bead, or blog just to become "popular" or "famous" or just to "please everyone" then haven't I really lost the soul of what I set out to do in the first place?

Hmmmm…..maybe I should drag out some of my really personal and embarrassing stories to see if anyone is really paying attention!!! ;)

Halfmoon Bay Pumpkin Festival

The Pumpkin Festival this last weekend was as usual lots of fun and lots of hard work. Theeconomy had its effect on most of us. I have been doing this show for about 15 years, and while I did “OK” it was not my best year at this show. It was not my “worst year” either (that distinction went to the year where it rained off and on all weekend).

Steve and I rolled into Halfmoon Bay early afternoon. We had the chance to browse some of the local shops. I bought a cookbook totally devoted to pumpkin recipes. YUMMY!! I can’t wait to try some of them.

We checked into our room at The San Benito House. http://www.sanbenitohouse.comwhich has been in business since 1905. It has an old Victorian feel, if not an almost haunted atmosphere. That atmosphere is just perfect for the weekend. The best part of staying there, is that was just a few blocks from where my booth was located. If there is one thing you really do not want to do for this particular show, it is get into the bumper to bumper SLOW traffic! And even better yet, since we arrived fairly early, I docked my car just across the lot from where my booth was, which made load-in and load-out the easiest it has ever been for this show.

Steve and I had a fantastic Italian dinner on Friday night. It was a small Italian restaurant (that I don’t remember the name of). We both had a seafood dish that was incredibly good. We drank wine, and just had a wonderful time just relaxing over dinner. We rarely can afford to go out to eat, so this was a real treat! The next two nights, we ate at a restaurant that had entrees from different countries. It was incredibly good (that’s why we went there two nights in a row!!)

Set-up started just before 6am. Of course it was still dark out. My booth was on its last leg, so to speak. I really liked that canopy booth too, but the pieces were not holding up too well, and needed to be taped together. I don’t know how the tinker toy of a canopy could have pieces that no longer would work, but that was the case. We got it together for its swan song.

By about 8:30 I was FINALLY done setting up. My friend Ann and her husband arrived at about 8. Ann has been a partner of mine for 15 years. Just where does the time go?

Things I hate about shows:

• How LONG it takes me to set up!
• THEFT!!! Luckily it doesn’t happen too often, but I did have a $40 pair of earrings get stolen. The empty card remained on the rack. I hope her earlobes get nastily infected and that her karma is bad for 6 months!
• People who are insulting, and think that beadwork should go for pennies.
• People who bring their dogs to shows. As crowded as this show gets, it is NOT a place for dogs.
• Double wide strollers….or for that matter strollers period. These people come into any of our booths, and NO ONE else can come in.
• Kids with parents who allow them to do what they want. Sticky hands with ice cream and artwork of any sort do not mix well.
• People who say “I would like to try on a necklace, but I don’t want to buy it” and that necklace is in the worst place to get to (to keep it out of Everyone’s reach for protective reasons).
• People who “try on earrings” without asking (Health Dept Regulations could get me in trouble) and wear them for 10 min in the booth and then don’t buy them.

Things I LOVE about Shows

• Meeting many of my online customers!
• Having someone say “Hey, you are doing a lot of Sig Wynne-Evans’ patterns!”. Then see their expression as I hand them my driver’s license to show them who I am.
• Seeing people’s eyes light up when they find something they love
• The many kind words of appreciation I receive
• Meeting other incredible artists
• Seeing people all dressed up for the occasion and having fun!
• A chance to get away for the weekend even if it is a “working weekend!”
• Being in the Bay Area
• Selling some of my older pieces!!
• Selling anything, so that I have an excuse to make more!

All in all, it was a fantastic weekend. Steve and I had a great time. We needed to get away from our day in-day out routines

Tipsy Tuesday, 10/20/09

Barney, Norm and I would love more questions! Please send more! You can even add them anonymously! And your questions need not be about beads!

Here is this week's question:

When you make a mistake, do you go back to fix it, or just continue working?

Me?? Make mistakes?? Nah…NEVER!!

HA!! Just kidding! Yes, I make mistakes, lots of them. And all sorts of mistakes. I hate it when I discover a mistake 5 rows back on a project. Or after I tie on a new thread and finish off the old one.

Whether or not I rip out the beadwork to the spot where my mistake occurred is dependent on the type of mistake I made. If it is one that only I will know about, I will leave it and continue one. Who will know that I should have used a yellow bead instead of orange in a multi colored background? But if it will be really noticeable to someone who is not intimately familiar with the pattern and it sticks out like a sore thumb (such as a black bead in a field of white), I will rip out the beadwork.

I am sure there are many “Mistakes” that I have made in my work that I don’t even know about. I don’t sweat the small stuff. Some of my mistakes have even lead to a new way of creating something. I love it when that happens!

I think a lot of people worry too much about beading “perfectly” to the point that it takes away some of the pleasure of beading.

If you do make a “mistake” and choose to leave it there, do not point it out to everyone!! Your piece is still beautiful, and more likely than not, most people would never notice it. Why point out the little error when you should be pointing what is wonderful about your piece. By chance if they do discover that little boo-boo on their own, then charge them rent, since they have been lingering too long anyways.

Norm the Gnome in the Know’s Comment

Olga’s favorite words to me seem to be, “You can’t do anything right, can you?” My row crops are never straight, I don’t seem to work hard enough, I snore when I sleep, my boots smell, and I get confused about what to do every day. I keep telling her that not everything I do is a mistake, after all, I married her, right? She doesn’t know what to say when I remind her of that.

Sometimes a mistake can lead to something wonderful. Once I dug a hole for a big tree and made the mistake of not covering it up while I waited for other Gnomes to bring the tree for planting. I fell into the hole. But my lovely Olga saved me. She pulled me out of the hole by my arms. But while I waited for her to save me, I found a chest at the bottom of the hole that was filled with jewels. I gave that chest to my lovely wife.

Olga loves me despite my mistakes. She did not say bad words to me for a long time after I gave her the chest I found, all due to my mistake.

Barney The Brainy Bruin’s Comment

You know what? I am so tired of being blamed for Sig’s mistakes. Just today, she blamed ME for a goof up she did! Really now, do you think I can type with my big bear paws and bear claws? But she had to blame me! Let me tell you, she is the one who goofed up on the Mystery pattern, by omitting row 61, not me!

That’s not all. Whenever she makes a mistake in packaging her kits, who does she blame? She blames me or one of my cousins. They are pretty sick and tired of it too. Every time she blames us, she threatens to take away some of our Honey and Berries! Just who does she think she is anyways? Queen of Perfection??

If she didn’t treat us as lovingly as she does most times, we would all go on strike, if not downright QUIT!!

Packed and Ready to Go!! (Almost!)

We are leaving tomorrow morning for Halfmoon Bay. It is a charming California coastal town between San Francisco and Santa Cruz. It is especially known for the Pumpkin Festival. HUGE pumpkins are trucked in every year for the biggest pumpkin contest a few days before the show. I think this year's winner is around 1,400 pounds!!

It is one of the best shows I do all year around. I start setting up at about 5am on Saturday (yes it is still dark). It takes me between 2 and 3 hours to set up...not an easy job. Since it is out doors, people come by early. I have had locals come by (before the maddening crowd arrives) and buy things by flashlight as I am setting up! (Oh throw money at me PLEASE!!).

In past years, this was a tough show, requiring total break down at night, but finally, a few years ago, they city has decided to allow us to keep our canopies up.

All week long, I have been busy making earrings (when I am not at work, swatting flies or cooking....). Some of the earrings I made are below (not all). I still have ear wires to add to them, and put them on cards. I still want to make a couple pairs tonight...

The car is packed...except for the jewelry and our overnight bag. We are eager to hit the road tomorrow.

See ya on Monday!!

Six Legged Terrorists!

This past Sunday was a glorious day. It was bright and sunny, the temperature was perfect. I had a day at home with nothing that HAD to be done. I pretty much planned on spending the day beading Halloween themed earrings for the Halfmoon Bay Pumpkin festival this coming weekend. I had my favorite music playing, some herbal iced tea, my beads before me, and Lucy, my parrot, beside me to keep me company. What could possibly be more enjoyable?

I was happy to be sitting and beading. It is rare when I can devote a day to beading. But as fate would have it, my happy session of beading was about to end. My perfect day would soon become a Holy Mess. All due to a six legged, compound eyed, winged servant of the Devil.

The day turned bad slowly. A fly would land on my beading tray. I would wave it away. Then it would land on my arm. I threatened it with my other hand, and it flew off. Next, I could feel all 6 of its legs marching up my leg. I shook it off. Then it landed on my face. Ok…this is getting damned annoying. Maybe if I annihilated the damned thing I could bead in peace. It was absolutely INSISTENT on being a pest.

Have you noticed that there is something about the Fall that turns flies absolutely FRANTIC? Sure, they are annoying all year long. You know they land on the lawn sausages left in the backyard by the dog, and that their love nest is a pile of rotting garbage. They are disease-carrying pains in the butt that can ruin a wonderful outdoor meal. And if you have your mouth open at the wrong time, as I once did, the foul creature will dance on your tongue and bounce off your mouth’s interior like a game of Pin-Ball. (Thankfully, he did not fly to the back of my throat, making me swallow him!). Yes they are annoying all year long, but the Fall brings out their worst. Maybe it is the final frenzy before winter.

Where is it that they go to during the winter, anyways?

As I was swatting that cursed fly, Lucy was watching me with wide-eyed interest. I am sure my antics were amusing her. Every time I shooed the fly away she would look at me as if I were doing a little dance, and she would make silly sounds. She was finding my movements quite entertaining.

I had to catch that fly, and dispose of it. I was tired of being disturbed by it. It was beginning to change my mood from content to being totally aggravated. I really wanted to get some beadwork done. It was time to put my fly killing skills to work.

When I was a kid, I would be amazed by my dad’s fly catching talent. He could catch a fly in his bare hands with amazing skill . He rarely missed! I remember once he was painting the porch trim. The flies bugged him as well, but he made sport of it. He would catch the flies with a swoop of his hand. The winged pest trapped in my dad’s grasp was doomed. My dad carefully grasped the fly by its wings and managed to put just enough of the house paint on it so that when he released it, it could still fly off (although with some difficulty). In this manner, one after one, he painted flies for sometime. He must have painted some 75 flies, perhaps even more. As a 7 year old, I thought of this as great fun! The flies were playing dress-up.

Several hours later, I was standing next to my dad when I heard our neighbor exclaiming to him, “Hey Al, have you noticed something funny with the flies? They are white! And there are a lot of them!” I remember looking at my dad, with his ear-to-ear mischievous grin, “I noticed them too. Do you think they are some sort of mutation?”

My dad taught me his fly catching secrets. It is a questionable skill, but even Steve and Jasmine are amazed at how I can catch flies with my bare hands. Ok, perhaps this disgusts you, but if you followed me for long enough, you know my writing is like a train wreck at times. Nasty. But you are still reading, right?

I was tired of this fly that was turning my peaceful, enjoyable time of beading into a session of fly-swatting aggravation. It was time to kill the sucker. Then it landed. Right there, on the table next to me. Vile disgusting creature! With the skills taught to me by my dad when I was 7, and a thud that made Lucy jump on her portable perch, the fly became a casualty.

Ahh…good. I washed my hands (and the fly guts off the table) and went back to beading.

It wasn’t too much later when things got worse. I don’t know where they came from. All my doors and windows had screens on them. I don’t know why they would want to come into the house when there is plenty of stuff outside for them land on. And I don’t know why, when there are plenty of surfaces inside my house to land on, that they decided I was of prime interest.

Maybe the fly I killed screamed for help. Maybe the flies were watching with their compound eyes in absolute horror as one of their comrades met it’s untimely end. They were angry. The buzzing had a volume and intensity that left no question in my mind that I was their target and that they were not happy.

I continued shooing them away. Maybe if I ignored them, they would leave me alone. So I tried that tactic. I just gently flicked them off me, if they landed on my bare skin. But this did not seem to work. The tag-team flies bent on pissing me off kept at it.

Then, there they were. The two flies, as if trying to send me a message, in total defiance and disregard for decency, in the midst of my pile of Czech pressed glass beads and Swarovski crystals, they were doing “the nasty”. Copulating flies! How utterly disgusting! I am a patient person, but I could stand no more. Time for all out warfare!

This was not something for bare hands to handle (or for small children or the elderly with weak hearts to watch). I quickly grabbed an old catalog and rolled it up into a fly killing implement. I raised it high, so that I would have full force (forgetting all that my dad told be about the finer points of fly catching) and slammed down onto the fornicating flies.

CRASH!!! My glass of tea spilled over. Lucy in her fright fell off her perch. Scrambling to get away, she made a disaster of the beads on my tray. Jar lids of Delicas were flung about. My little plastic containers were flung all over the table, and some popped their lids open when they crashed to the floor. The Czech pressed glass beads and Swarovski crystals were swimming in an ocean of herbal iced tea and ice cubes (Oh thank god, I don’t sweeten my tea!!). Total disaster! What a mess!!

But there!! In Technicolor shades of fly guts and fly body fluids, there they were! The two flies were still joined together in eternal splattered bliss on the rolled up catalog, dead and as flat as they could be.

I won. The war was over. But the war zone was not pretty.

Do you think I could apply for Federal Disaster Assistance?

Tipsy Tuesday, 10/13/09

I am glad to hear that most of you are enjoying Norm and Barney’s input on Tipsy Tuesday’s blog entries. They try to help, their heart is in the right place, even if they are off track sometimes. They are happy to remain employed.

Both Norm and Barney wish to thank everyone for basically voting to keep them on board, except for the one humorless so and so who wanted them fired. Norm is summoning up his network of Gnomes to come and cause havoc in that person’s garden, and Barney refuses to talk to you, whoever you are. But for the rest of you, they give many thanks and hopes for good Karma.

Today’s question comes from Molly K. in PA

When you make peyote-stitched bracelets for sale, how long do you make them?

My Response:

That is a great question. Everyone has a different sized wrist. Some have really tiny wrists; others like me have tree stump sized wrists. If you know the size wrist you are creating a bracelet for, then of course you will make the bracelet to size.

If you are making bracelets to sell at a show, then you will never know what size wrist that person will have. After losing sales because one bracelet was too big, or too small, I decided that it is best if the bracelet is adjustable. That way the bracelet will fit a variety of wrist sizes, and increase the chance of your sales.

When I design my bracelet patterns, I try to keep different writs sizes in mind. Most can be easily shortened or lengthened as needed without interfering with the design. Don’t forget to include the added length that the clasp you use will add.

I like to use end bars and chain for the bracelets I make for sale. The chain allows the bracelet to be adjustable to fit a variety of wrists.

Norm The Gnome in the Know’s Response:

Humans come in different sizes? We Gnomes are all the same size, unless the Gnome is a freak, or comes from a different village. But even then, most of our wrists are the same size. Why is it that you humans come in different sizes? For us Gnomes, it is easy. Men all wear one size; women all wear their own size. It is rare when sizes differ significantly.

Barney the Brainy Bruin’s Response:

I do not like bracelets. They frighten me. My friend once had a bracelet around one of her wrists and was chained to the cage with it. It wasn't pretty.

She finally did escape from her captors. Bears do not like bracelets. I suggest that you stop making those scary things! Please!